Simonisms

[sandy]

What is your favorite thing that Simon has said so far? Tonite he was SOOO funny I lost track of all the funny stuff he said. Anyone remember any particularly funny/good ones?

[lizzyj]

My mind is blank, let me think about it.

But I thought all the judges were funny tonight!!

[sandy]

Isn't it funny that when you try to remember so many things you forget them all? I should have had a pen and paper. He said some priceless stuff tonite. I just forgot it all while trying to remember the contestants.

[lizzyj]

I tivo'ed, so I will rewatch it tomorrow.

I'm gonna start watching with a notepad myself.

[yayamiddlesister]

I do take notes, let's see...The first one who auditioned, Frank Byers who is the captain of a cheerleaders squad. He stepped outside and hollered 'please stop' or something because the whole squad, it seemed, was outside and it even sounded like a band was playing.

The next one, Tamika Sims (the one I mentioned before, except she's not the one who wore braces) told Simon 'I'm a myer (?spelling), sir.' He asked 'you're a what?' - a myer - a mayor? - a myer - a mayor.....

Simon told Christopher McCain, who was the big dude who had the hots for Paula and who called his ex-wife a b_ _ _ _ that he'd like to ask him if he sang 'Footloose' to his wife the night before she left him.

Told Janita Burks (she wore the halter top dress and it looked at times while she was singing that her boobs might fall out) 'she was a handful'.

I don't know who asked Robert Lee Holmes (who sings, dances and writes stories) how does his story end and he answered, 'with a period'. I think that was my favorite tonight!

That's all I have jotted down...

[sandy]

I think I laughed the hardest when he told the Castro-looking guy after he sang that "we were expecting a revolution" or something.

[yayamiddlesister]

Originally Posted by sandy

What is your favorite thing that Simon has said so far? Tonite he was SOOO funny I lost track of all the funny stuff he said. Anyone remember any particularly funny/good ones?

I thought it was funny when he couldn't understand what that girl was saying (she wore braces) and he kept asking, 'a mayor?'

[lizzyj]

I liked...

You looked and sounded completely insane.

You have no idea how to perform

[sandy]

LOL! Who was the "insane" for? There were so many!

[sandy]

Does anyone even remember Janita Burks face? Who could take their eyes off her hooters wondering when they were going to burst forth/out of her top? I forgot what she sang too and whether or not she was good?