18 and still not allowed to make decisions.

[Danielle]

I am trying to talk to my mom about letting me sleep at my best friend’s house. I’m 18 years old, he’s 19, and we’ve been close friends for 5 years, and I trust him very much. We’ve also dated a lot, but right now we aren’t dating. I’m moving to Cambridge in a month to go to college so I’m going to miss my friends and him a lot, and it’s going to be extremely difficult to see anyone. In this post I’m not even going near the topic of forgetting about him, moving on, making different friends in Cambridge; I’m not interested in any of that. So it’s really important to me that I spend as much time as possible with any friends that I will miss. I asked my mom if I could sleep at his house because I feel like I’m running out of time, and sleeping at a guy’s house is no big deal. Her concern is that he will hurt me, I don’t even know if she thinks he’ll hurt me emotionally, or if she thinks he’ll hurt me physically, which I think is completely out of line, and it insults me that she would think of him like that. If he would hurt me at his house if I slept over, he would have hurt me the times I went over during the day time. I am positive that he would not touch me if I didn’t want him to, and he can’t emotionally hurt me because he respects me, loves me as a friend, maybe not romantically. And I am thankful that I’m allowed to his house at all, but I just want to be able to spend the night at his house like I do with my other friends. I’m 18!! I’m not happy that when I go over I can’t stay very long, because my mom usually drives me when she has to leave for work, and a lot of the time she starts after 5, and then she’s done at around 11 so she picks me up on the way home. She won’t let me take the bus because it’s a really bad area. I hate having everything I want to say, rehearsed in my head just so I can say it before I have to leave. It’s too un-natural and rushed, and it wouldn’t be if we could spend normal time together when we wanted, and when it’s available. He also has a full time job so it makes it even harder to see him. I told her she can call me as many times as she wants, and I’ll call just as much as she wants me too, and she knows I would call if I needed her to come get me for any reason. My parents would never let him sleep here. I’m trying to make her see that I can make my own decisions now and that I’m going to be 19, but she’s being very stubborn. Can anyone else think of something I can say that will make her listen? It’s so important to me…:confused::confused::confused:

[Feisty Kitty]

I hate to say it, but it really does not matter that you are 18. As long as you live at home you live by mom's rules.
Also, if you are talking about just sleeping at his house, you won't actually be spending time with him, because you will be asleep.
You can still have a relationship with this guy when you are away at college. And, when you are away, you will be on your own and free to make your own decisions.

[Danielle]

Thanks Feisty Kitty,

She lets me make decisions about everything else, I guess I said that wrong in my post, or I was exagerrating. So it's making me more frustrated that she's not letting me be with him.It's just that she doesn't want me to go all the way with him, not sexually, just have everything I want with him. And I'll be eventually sleeping, but I feel like if we have the entire night to pillow talk about everything then it will be so much less forced to say everything in time, and we'll have time to think about things, say things when it comes to our minds, so it will be a lot of time spent together...

[TaylorHicksRocks]

You could always chat with him all night via the phone....That's what T would do and remember in time you wil thank your mom for her rules...Good Luck at Cambridge!

[Danielle]

Yeah, I could do that I just wish I could sleep there because it would feel so normal and I like to see how he reacts to something I say and sometimes when it's hard to say something it's better to be in front of him so he can force it out of me haha. But I guess I'll have to settle with this and wait until Im on my own.
Thanks, Im gonna need lots of luck!!!

[TaylorHicksRocks]

Good Luck to you hun!!! Everything will come together in time....

[Danielle]

Thanks :) Youre so sweet

[Feisty Kitty]

OMIGOD! Cambridge! Congrats, smartypants! That is a really amazing accomplishment, just getting accepted. You are obviously a very intelligent woman! RESPECT!!!

About your friend.........let it breathe. If you are true friends, he will stay in contact. If he is the pressuring point of trying to get you to sleep over, he might not be the friend you think. Years of poor decisions give me the wisdom to say this to you. If he is honorable, get your education first! And be very thankful that you have a mom who has rules, which is probably one of the reasons you have come so far in life, so far that you were excepted to CAMBRIDGE! Can you tell I am impressed?

[IdolMe]

As a parent I see your moms P.O.V. but when I was a kid... I felt like you. It's hard but if you spent the night all your mom would think about is that guy slipping you the salami at night. Not a good thought for a parent.

[Danielle]

Thanks for your answers IdolMe and Emily! I'm trying to forget about being mad at my mom, to see what happens...Lol yeah Emily, Thanks, I'm impressed by myself as well, and happy. :)

[Feisty Kitty]

Thanks for your answers IdolMe and Emily! I'm trying to forget about being mad at my mom, to see what happens...Lol yeah Emily, Thanks, I'm impressed by myself as well, and happy. :)

Who is Emily? Were you talking to me? I am actually Elizabeth, but close enough;) I actually prefer Feisty, though. I hope I helped.

[TaylorHicksRocks]

Who is Emily? Were you talking to me? I am actually Elizabeth, but close enough;) I actually prefer Feisty, though. I hope I helped.

I prefer Feisty too although if Jonathon had been a girl he would have been named Elizabeth had I had my way...and been called Beth...

[sheldon]

ha? what the?