Idol Me Blog

American Idol has got to be loving this…

Over the weekend Every Mans Man, “The Jaya” performed live on stage….Why?

Stay with the Video and tell me why you think he did this?

Francis L.

Unbelievable, as usual, the ‘Dead Man Walking’ show was a 55 minute infomercial, leading to 5 minutes of ‘Who’s going home?’ thrown in to torture and keep us to the very end.

Yawn, yet another Anticlimactic results show. Does Fox really need an hour long results show with so few people left in the competition?

Ryan Seacrest even stated at the beginning of the evening, “We have an hour and have to fill it up somehow”. Why have segments where Ryan quizzes pedestrians about the contestants.

We finally get the Pink performance that was promised three weeks ago during Idol Gives Back.

Why a Fantastic Four 2 preview?
It turns into another, Ryan pretending that he’s not gay by making innocuous comments about him thinking that Jessica Alba is hot charade. As much as you would like us to think that you might be on the fence sexually, we all know that Simon is the music that plays on your radio.

On to the Bee Gees, Barry’s performance of “To Love Somebody” was excruciatingly sad.

Appearing onstage wearing overly tight jeans, no visible ass to speak of and a see through shirt, this elderly man feebly attempted to replay a moment in time that had obviously evaporated into history.

It is becoming increasingly uncomfortable to see geriatric, one time stars, unsuccessfully wrestle with songs and music that 35 years ago they mastered with ease.

As for the results Lakisha gets the axe. Was it just me or did she appear to be relieved that she was finally getting to go home?

We now are required to sit through next weeks performances to get to the known destination of seeing Blake sent home, and setting up the finale’ that was known a month ago, Jordin against the back up singer.

I can pretend that anyone can win, but I won’t.

Jordin Sparks is going to win. You can argue reasons as to why you believe otherwise…but you would be wrong.

Up next…..where American Idol jumped the tracks and left the talent behind….

Francis L.

Disco Sucks

Fifty Years is a long, long time

Sounding like Sean Connery with a painfully severe periodontal condition, tonight’s aged mentor, Barry Gibb, took control of the reigns of Idol’s team of four Clydesdale’s.

Guiding the participants through the finer aspects and techniques of falsetto singing, Gibb sacrifices one after another, the songs of his legacy, to the Demons of Fox and American Idol.

“Big Pimpin Melinda”

The show opens with Melinda. She chooses to perform”Love You Inside and Out.”

Originally She had wondered if the lyrics might be a little too racy–her pastor was in the audience tonight.

Her second song choice, “How do You Mend a Broken Heart.”

Much like her first song choice she proceeds to inject Bee Gee tunes
with a lethal dose of R&B, creating a musical mutant hybrid.

There is absolutely no star power within the persona of this woman.
Neither of her performances tonight had any Wow factor what so ever.

She is an above average singer with no gravitas, nothing about her
will ever be memorable. As Simon said, it was a “No Star-Backup Vocal.”

There will come a day in the very near future, where Doo Doo,
like so many other past Idol contestants, will be thanking God above for the Creation of Broadway.

Beat Boxing is Gay

I have been a fan. I have stated that in order for this season to be salvaged,the final would have to include Jordin and Blake.

Tonight I have reassessed my position.

Tonight Blake died a slow and painful Beat Boxing death.
He began the evening with “You Should Be Dancing.”

Doing his best Robin Thicke impression, Lewis stumbled through his first performance like a drunk running up a staircase.

His second song choice of the evening was “This Is Where I Came In.”By picking this obscure tune, Blake has all but guaranteed that “This Is Where He Gets Off.”

Blake is my favorite to get to sit in the audience next week.

Vote For KiKi Or Else!

Her trademark signature move is YELLING the final few verses of
every song she has ever sung. She did it it twice tonight.

First by crashing and burning with “Stayin Alive” then moving right into “Run To Me” Which by
her performance would cause one to “Run From Her.”

Hell, she was so bad tonight even Simon refused to make out with her.

I WIN

Francis L.

But it will not end nearly as bad as The German Idol winner. Here he is from last weeks finale

Hopefully They’ll Be “Stayin’ Alive”

From The USA Today…Today, here are tonights song choices

Tonight, it’s the music of the Bee Gees. Barry Gibb is the guest mentor this week.

Blake Lewis

* “You Should Be Dancing” - Beat-box style
* “This is Where I Came In”

Jordin Sparks

* “To Love Somebody” - Nigel convinced Barry to let her have it (Barry is performing it tomorrow)
* “Woman in Love”

Melinda Doolittle (two of the following)

* “Love You Inside” - Melinda thinks the lyrics might be a little too racy–
her pastor will be in the audience tonight.
* “I Just Want to Be Your Everything”
* “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart”

Lakisha Jones

* “Stayin’ Alive”
* “Run to Me”

Ford Commercial: “You Really Got Me” - A take off on the Beatles Hard Days Night, with fans chasing after the Idols.

Group Number: “How Deep is Your Love” with beat boxing.

A pre-recorded performance from Pink will be featured on tomorrows results show.

It’s getting late in the race and Fox and “The American Voting Public” have taken away all
controversial writing interest from this season’s show.

Come Back to me Antonella!!! Sanjaya, what did you do with your hair today?
Bush Babies please….just one more time, sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”
Hell, I would even vote for the Chunky Blond who sang as the cowardly lion.

What I am left with on the show:

1. A career backup singer who will be totally remembered for not having a neck,
a mouthful of all baby teeth, and the inability to NOT BE HUMBLE about her singing talent .
She will also most certainly be totally forgotten until she lands minor
a part in an off Broadway play.

2. A physically unattractive Church Choir singer, who even if she has a limited
amount of success after being eliminated, will be unable to handle life after Idol.
And honestly has nothing remotely image wise to offer us, the public.

3. A spontaneous Crier who although is extremely talented as a singer,
will be relegated to a singing career of Top 40 Pop tunes.
She would be a slam dunk winner if only there were some
wet T-Shirt photos online……Some where…..Brb

4. A rapidly inflating, (WEIGHTWISE), club singer that will never be mainstream
enough to make a difference. Although I enjoy some of his performances, his voice
reminds me of Pat Boone, or Perry Como….yeah I’m really OLD…Really.

So hopefully during the next three weeks, one of them gets arrested.

Some random Blurbs…………..

Now you can feel Twice as Good..

American Idol Donors Double Billed

(KTVI - myFOXstl.com) — Some fans of FOX’s top-billed show get double billed! Some people who donated during last week’s American Idol Gives Back Benefit gave more than they planned. It’s being called a technical glitch and FOX promises to fix it. FOX 2’s Teresa Woodard has details on how they hope Idol really will give back. People with a problem can call this toll free number: 1-800-295-1752. Viewers can also send an email to service@idolaid.com

Why we Love Simon

Here are 20 of Simons finest comments, dished out to contestants, relatives and even Bob Dylan.
1. “You should sue your singing teacher”

2. “I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight.”

3. “The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death pop star
wannabes”

4. At age 4: “Mum, you look like a poodle”

5. On Bob Dylan: ‘A singing poet? It just bores me to tears.’

6. “Shave off your beard and wear a dress. I think you’d be a great female impersonator”

7. “Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you’re deaf.”

8. “You have just invented a new form of torture”

9. “If you had lived 2,000 years ago and sung like that, I think they would have stoned you.”

10. “The look, it was like something out of the Addams Family.”

11. “You have the personality of a handle.”

12. “I’m tempted to ask if you sang that the night before your wife left you.”

13. “You look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes.”

14. “What do you think we are looking for – a two-year-old who can’t sing?”

15. “You were having fun. I’m not sure how much fun everyone at home was having.”

16. “You came across as a background singer for a background singer.”

17.. “You sounded like Cher after she’s been to the dentist.”

18. “Can I ask you a question? Do you and your girlfriend sing together at home? Have the police ever called?”

19. “You are fabulous but it was the singing that was slightly off-putting.”

20. Simon: “What normally happens when you sing in public, Deborah?”

Deborah: “I’ve had a few people cry.”

Simon: “I can believe that.”

And Finally Today…

I will leave you proof that leaves no doubt that Paulas Meds
need to be decreased………

Francis L.