Idol Me Blog

Paula Abdul drunk off her ass on TV…. am I out of line??? What do you think????

More Paula drunk???

“Idol Judges Gone Wild”
(“Tell me you Love me”)

For years, questions have swirled about the “Relationship” that has existed between Simon and Paula. Their onscreen flirting has had people everywhere assuming that the two have most definitely been, and are still, doing the dirty deed. A N.Y. Post Headline from 01/10/07 read as follows, “Paula Abdul says There are Times Simon Cowell is Like a Big Brother….or A Lover” The Freudian inferences here are mind boggling!

“I thought it was just O.J.”
( No More Mimosa Breakfast’s)

Yesterday, Abduls’ spokesman, Jeff Ballard, insisted that rumors of Paula being drunk on air during a morning news interview was not accurate. Ballard insisted that Abduls erratic behavior was due to tiredness from a throat infection. You decide. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zt5wn3fvlw

“Simon Says, Icon a No Talent”
(Clarkson Rules!!!!! Dylan WHO???)

In an upcoming interview with Playboy Magazine next month, Legal Immigrant and A.I. judge, Simon, “I’m not a Baby Boomer”, Cowell declared that “He has never bought a Bob Dylan record because he bores me to tears.” Cowell continued to say that he would “Plug my ears and run if he were to see and hear a 21 year old Dylan singing, Blowing in the wind.” Cowell stated that he would pick Kelly Clarkson, a modern day Aretha Franklin, any day over the no talent Dylan. American Idol Rules!!!!!

History??? Please! What good is heritage?, Why remember history??? I mean it’s all stuff that already happened right?

You don’t have to be a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. I feel old.

Francis L.

Oh Yes, He’s thinking It!

The Fall of the Empire…
The Combatants enter the Network’s Coliseum to the thunderous ovation of the bloodthirsty throngs assembled.

The Metro Sexual Coliseum crier calls for silence and then declares, “ For Those of You Who Are About To Die, We Salute You”!

“It’s No Longer important how you came to be here, only that you survive to sing another day.”!

“And All This Will Begin…..Right after the Break.”

We Have No King But Caesar…
Caesar Simon Cowell, the omnipresent and omniscient being responsible for unleashing this “Beast” of mediocrity upon humanity, sits in judgment of D-List singers. Watching demurely as each entrant claws desperately to acquire their self indulged 15 minutes of fame…..He sits, he observes, he lambastes.

Predictability and the crowd demands that he rule judgments, thumbs up, thumbs down?! Even if he thinks you worthy, He’ll speak of your talent, or lack thereof, with unbridled, unbiased contemptuous glee….
But ultimately, your fate will be decided by the reaction of the mob assembled.

Like the Empire of Rome, American Idol will Never Fall…It’s Eternal…………………..

All Hail Caesar Simon!! Hail Caesar!!!!!!

From The N.Y. Post Reported 1/9/07

“It’s a given that the American Idol franchise is valuable—But no one guessed its worth to be a staggering $2.5 billion.

That’s the price tag slapped on the franchise by Advertising Age, the industry trade magazine.

It reached that estimate by adding up “Idol’s” ad dollars (500 Million), sponsorship packages (30-50 Million), music sales and live tours.

(And now the really scary part)…….And that 2.5 Billion doesn’t even include the “Idol” chocolate bars, ice cream, Monopoly games and even an “Idol” theme park–all of which are being considered by the producers of the Fox reality show. Fremantle Media, which holds the rights to “Idol”, is also expanding the show by streaming it on American idol.com after it airs each week–enabling even more advertisers to join the party.

Global Warming??

Yeah, Global warming should have all of us terrified…….
But a more terrifying vision of the future is seeing our children sliding down the overly wet and drooling “Paula Abdul Water Slide” at the “Idol” theme / water park.
Being forced to watch little Billy riding the “Randy Jackson Stomach Staple Tilt-a-Whirl.”
Or watching our blindfolded preschoolers try to “Pin the Nipples on Simon’s T-shirt” game. While paroled carnival workers oversee the festivities.
Which by the way, if you succeed at doing, wins you the extended play version of Billy Hung’s “She Bangs Club Mix”

Idol Candy bars, ice cream, Monopoly games???? What, no American Idol Condoms? “American Idol Condoms” “She’ll Sing Out in Ecstasy when You sheath your “Contestant” with our “ Idyllic Prophylactic“, try it now, “You be The JUDGE”.
2.5 Billion dollars and growing?…If Jesus really is coming back soon, He needs to bump up the scheduling.

Francis L.

Look at the Dancing Monkey

In less than a week, Season 7 of American Idol will take center stage to once again supposedly fulfill the dream. The dream that “Only in America” can a below average karaoke singer get a recording contract, a million dollars, (before taxes) ,and representation by a bloodsucking troupe of vampires known as producers.

Inevitably, Fox will parade the usual suspects during the first couple of shows. “The Dancing Monkey’s” I call them. That lost group of Bad singers, actors, waiters, and escaped mental patients.

There will be the predictable obese, tone deaf hooker nursing student who really does believe that she is the next Whitney. We will wince when they open their mouths, and we will revel like a “giddy schoolgirl” in the lambasting Simon will inevitably hand out to the chronically bad.

Like the faces we make during intercourse, it’s not going to be very pretty.

What Could Have Been

There was a time when this show had the opportunity to become something special, while still harboring huge ratings. It could have become an actual talent discovery venue. But we decided to go the easy way. The way of least amount of thought.

There are exorbitantly talented singers out there in the hinterlands that we will never get to see. The “Real” singer, that might have conquered America, will remain in the shadows undiscovered.

Undiscovered because we will always demand to see the less fortunate make asses of themselves on television to bolster our low self esteem.

After all we’re not as bad as some of those “Numbskulls.”

Because Fox, like all networks, dumbs down shows to the lowest common denominator, we are held prisoner by the “Fear Factor” Schematic of television reality. Mindless TV works. And we love it!

Jewel or Dog Doody

Six years ago….In the beginning, we, the audience had a choice to make.

A choice between a Jewel in our hand or a Flaming Bag of Dog crap on the front porch.

We chose the flaming Bag…..

So I’m sure there those of you who are asking, “Well, if it sucks so bad, why are you going to watch it”?

It’s Like trying to turn away from seeing an impending automobile accident, You know that you should, but you just can’t…………

So now you’ll have to excuse me, I have to go clean the Poopy off the bottom of my shoe….

Francis L.

With only a few short days to go American Idol will be hitting the television screens in practically every home in America, except those that don’t have cable. American Idol has been one of the number one shows in America for the past six years. Can you believe that a show about talented singers and performers would be so hot? Maybe some people like to watch it to see all those people who have zero talent whatsoever go up there in front of Simon and make a fool out of themselves. But for others its about the singers, some identify themselves with the country singers, some the talented girls, but what most Americans like is the Rock and Roll.

Every since Chris Daughtry hit the center stage with his good looks and charming personality more and more young teenagers are starting to watch the show. Maybe it’s the sex appeal because we all know how good looking a rock and roll singers can be with their harsh voice and shaved heads. Chris really hit the stage with a certain sense for all the women in America; he captured their hearts within just seconds of belting out those chords. Rock and Roll performers will probably be more popular this year seeing how a male should probably win American Idol this year. You never know who’s going to win this year, but make sure you get out there and vote for your favorite American Idol.

Not only does Ryan Seacrest host American Idol but we all know that we tune into AI to see him talk about all the contestants. He has such a great personality and is really hot too, but there is much to say about all the past American Idol winners, some things that he touched base on this past year about the past idols.

He thinks that Clay Aiken had a wonderful voice to begin the show but his look wasn’t all that great, but we all know that looks don’t matter because anyone can get a makeover. Every week he said that Clay’s confidence grew better and better each week.

He says that Carrie Underwood has the potential to be one of the biggest American Idol stars yet. After leaving American Idol she has done everything she can by the textbook, she is going to be the biggest superstar yet.

One thing he said about Kelly Clarkson is that she is a performer like no other. With the help from her friends around her she has the potential to be a brand such as American Idol, she is what represents AI from the beginning to the end.

For more Ryan Seacrest be sure to watch this years American Idol 7, it is sure to be a good one. It starts January 16 & 17 with a 2-hour special each night. This is going to be one of the best American Idols yet!

Not only did she clean up on American Idol as the pretty brunette but Kat McPhee also got Big Girl 06’ award at the VH1 awards this year. The American Idol icon has had numerous opportunities to shine in the limelight this year on the red carpet. After performing spectacular songs and wowing the crowds with her good looks Katie McPhee is sure to have a bright future. With as many fans as she has she is bound to be famous because of the hard work and dedication she provides for her fans. Having a huge fan base made it easy for her to win the award because all the awards handed out are decided upon you the viewer.

I guess with all that respect she can really start her career off with a bang. But Katie or “Kat” has to give most of her thanks to Fox’s hit talent show American Idol. Without AI she would probably not have ever gotten the opportunity to show the world how much she deserves to crowned Big Girl 06’. But this just goes to show you that if you give everything you are doing 110% then you will probably be successful at anything. Take it from her, if you do your homework, study hard, and get good grades then you will probably have a bright future because you know what hard work will earn you.

Coming soon to a television near you is the new season of American Idol with new contestants and the same old judges. Scheduled to start with a 2 hour season premiere January 16 &17 it will be such blast everyone will be tuning in to see all the competition and those that just blow. Although the track to find glory on American Idol is very long it will be well worth it once they are in the likings of Carrie Underwood and Taylor Hicks.

Traveling from town to town trying to show everyone how talented you really are has got to be one of the most stressful things that one can do. With all the new talent this year is bound to be one of the best, we just can’t wait to hear from Simon and Paula they should be hilarious this year. Coming off a wonderful year Taylor Hicks is the reigning Idol but his title is bound to be taken and a new American Idol should be crowned.

Be sure that you tune in to American Idol to see all the latest results and outcomes of Idol 07’. This year promises to give us a glimpse into the future and the talent that is out there! Probably will be the highest rated year for American Idol in its five year history, it should be a blast.