Idol Me Blog

Where was Ashton Kutcher ?
-This is not Funny
-This is not Reality
-This is not Entertainment
-“This” ………….“Is American Idol”

Tonight, Fox’s American Idol returned to once again seek out America’s most talented Karaoke singer.

Fox, is it too much to ask that just once, your producers could give us, the viewers, some respect and gratitude for making the show a ratings juggernaut? Respect, shown to us by airing singers who really do have talent? Look, we get it!

Most people can’t sing !

Fox, what you did tonight was the equivalent of giving forty million people wedgies. Once again you decided that we would enjoy sitting and watching four hours of carnival sideshow freak, slow motion train wrecks.

To say that you, Fox, are trying the patience of American Idol viewers, would be an understatement. Maybe we aren’t as vapid and shallow as you think we are. Maybe we have grown tired of being treated like monkeys on the sofa.

Tonight’s Highlight Reel
Among tonight’s chronically untalented and criminally insane contestants, I present to you, in no particular order:

1) The Delusional Make-up girl.

2) The angry black man saying that the Judges can ”Kiss My Ass!”

3) Authentic Amish Pop Singer in 70’s polyester sport coat.

4) The Gay Apollo Creed singing show tunes.

5) The “Break Your Heart Crack Baby Girl” who really can’t sing, But Hey!, She’s a CRACK BABY Girl! So it’s off to Hollywood for some Real exploitation of her life.

6) “The Latino Porn Girl” singing something unrecognizable. But does she have hair to die for or what?! Put her in some tighter clothing, turn up the Air conditioning, and we have another Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

7) The Cowboy Singer guy, in the “Woody” from Toy Story costume, who sang Johnny Cash. Who at the very moment Woody sang, spun like a gyroscope in his grave.

8) There was Navy Guy, who got sent to Hollywood along with Army Reserve auto mechanic chick. It just goes to show that the judges love a guy/gal in uniform.

9) The Psychotic Stick juggler guy, who upon his dismissal, showed the importance of recombining his medication schedule with therapy sessions. In tears, he was consoled by his family, who reassured him that he “Would be Famous Some day.” Yeah, famous like when some morning he’s a breaking news story on CNN. Where he’ll be shot off the roof of his high school by a local police S.W.A.T. team sniper

10) Finally, there was ONE. The Best of the night. Her Name is Sarah Krueger. She sounded wonderful, almost angelic. WTF were you thinking Fox? Just when I thought I was out, You drag me back in……………………………………………….Francis L.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 at 12:31 am and is filed under Idol 6. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.