How to Piss Off Your Neighbors

Welcome Doormat
It seems no matter where you move, there is at least one neighbor that can’t stay out of your business. They constantly complain, and do everything in their power to make your life a little tougher. Time for you to return the favor. When it comes to pissing off your neighbors, there a few things you can do that can really cause the most annoyance with the least amount of effort. Follow along and pick and choose your favorites.

Get things done around the house

One of the easier ways to piss the neighbors off is by simply doing chores outside your house. If the lawn needs mowing, take the initiative to start it real early in the morning.
Wait until the nosey neighbors are peacefully sleeping, and remember to go over the spots closest to their house. It allows you to wake them up without really giving them anything to complain about. You have to get your work done, it’s just too bad it’s not a good time for them.

Time to get extra friendly

So how does being nice piss them off you ask? Allow me to explain. Flirting with your neighbors is a great way to start a fight, and get them extremely irate. Just take the time each day to act flirty and friendly with on member of the family. The parents only, for those that need to be told. By doing this little covert move, you can get them pissed at you, and start fights between them. It becomes a double whammy.

When nature calls.

Man’s best friend can become a huge ally in your attack on your neighbors. Use your canine to cause as much trouble as possible. Take him walking on their lawn when they aren’t there to stop you. Make sure to let old scrappy finish his business in the walking path if possible, leading to the best possible scenario. If you have a neighbor scraping his foot as he walks up to your door to complain, you found a golden spot, keep it up.

Summer is here, possibilities grow

When summer arrives, there are multiple opportunities that open up. One such choice that can really piss those people off is.. Covert missions to destroy their lawn. Start with the classic destruction of their hose. Go ahead and poke holes throughout the hose, making sure that a simple rag won’t cover it and allow them to get by. Destroy a few hoses and see how quickly they start to crumble. The next steps might get you in trouble, so work at your own risk. If they have in-ground sprinklers, take the initiative to super glue those bad boys down. It normally takes people a while to even notice their sprinkler heads are stuck, and can in the mean time leave their lawn dead or dieing.

So what is left to do? All out war..

Time to do all the childish things left in your arsenal. Get out there and be creative. Lube up their door handles. Ice down their driveway in the winter time. Wake up early and sabotage their cars with bananas in the exhaust. Check your cars engine early in the morning, by just revving and revving and revving. Spread out these attacks over time, so that you can keep it fresh. Some things get old, or can be adapted to easily. Keep them on their toes, and watch them crumble.

Words of Warning

If you don’t want cops coming over your house, cover your tracks or make sure your neighbors are the revenge type over the cop calling type. A challenge is always fun, and you now have more up your sleeve than the average Joe. Keep the destruction and damages down to a minimum and keep yourself in the clear.

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