Idol Me Blog

Disco Sucks

Fifty Years is a long, long time

Sounding like Sean Connery with a painfully severe periodontal condition, tonight’s aged mentor, Barry Gibb, took control of the reigns of Idol’s team of four Clydesdale’s.

Guiding the participants through the finer aspects and techniques of falsetto singing, Gibb sacrifices one after another, the songs of his legacy, to the Demons of Fox and American Idol.

“Big Pimpin Melinda”

The show opens with Melinda. She chooses to perform”Love You Inside and Out.”

Originally She had wondered if the lyrics might be a little too racy–her pastor was in the audience tonight.

Her second song choice, “How do You Mend a Broken Heart.”

Much like her first song choice she proceeds to inject Bee Gee tunes
with a lethal dose of R&B, creating a musical mutant hybrid.

There is absolutely no star power within the persona of this woman.
Neither of her performances tonight had any Wow factor what so ever.

She is an above average singer with no gravitas, nothing about her
will ever be memorable. As Simon said, it was a “No Star-Backup Vocal.”

There will come a day in the very near future, where Doo Doo,
like so many other past Idol contestants, will be thanking God above for the Creation of Broadway.

Beat Boxing is Gay

I have been a fan. I have stated that in order for this season to be salvaged,the final would have to include Jordin and Blake.

Tonight I have reassessed my position.

Tonight Blake died a slow and painful Beat Boxing death.
He began the evening with “You Should Be Dancing.”

Doing his best Robin Thicke impression, Lewis stumbled through his first performance like a drunk running up a staircase.

His second song choice of the evening was “This Is Where I Came In.”By picking this obscure tune, Blake has all but guaranteed that “This Is Where He Gets Off.”

Blake is my favorite to get to sit in the audience next week.

Vote For KiKi Or Else!

Her trademark signature move is YELLING the final few verses of
every song she has ever sung. She did it it twice tonight.

First by crashing and burning with “Stayin Alive” then moving right into “Run To Me” Which by
her performance would cause one to “Run From Her.”

Hell, she was so bad tonight even Simon refused to make out with her.

I WIN

Francis L.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 8th, 2007 at 9:37 pm and is filed under Idol 6. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.