Make It Stop Daddy!
“Leave the Light on”
There seems to be a need for an explanation as to why Sanjaya is still in play for the title of American Idol. Conspiracy theorists decry that Fox is bypassing the actual vote and keeping Malakar around just for the controversial factor of creating a buzz and increased ratings.
The actual reason that he still remains is because of a little known deal that Sanjaya has made with this individual……….
The particulars of deal are sketchy, but it’s believed that part of the original deal to become the Next American Idol includes the handing over of his sister Shyamali, to become the horned one’s next bride.
After barely surviving Diana Ross week, our attention now turns to next week’s clusterf—k theme, “British Invasion Week.” In an effort to keep the show fresh and musically relevant, Fox has decided to once again choose a genre of music where most of the original artist’s are either dead or senile. The only people that will relate to this theme will be card carrying members of A.A.R.P., and “Hippies” who are collecting Social Security benefits.
Ladies and Gentlemen;
May I present to you, this week’s Coaches”
Peter Noone and “LuLu”
Watching these two guide and coach the remaining eleven contestants through a menagerie of “British Bubblegum Pop Songs” that their grandparents listened to as teens, will be more painful than watching a shrieking Diana Ross drag queen, stumble about the stage.
It ought to be a “Groovy and Outta’ Sight Night.” I may have to dig out my paisley shirt, striped bell bottom slacks, and Beatle Boots.
Peter Noone’s initial reaction to the group sing.
American Idol has become to the music industry what Gilligan’s Island and the S.S. Minnow was to oceanic navigational strategy.
Yes kids, next Tuesday night is quickly shaping up to be another spectacularly tragic night.
I can’t wait.
Francis L.
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