“The Answer Is, Spiral Starecase”
“The Question is”
“What 60’s singing group originally recorded the song,
(More Today Than Yesterday), that washed up Motown Diva, Diana Ross performed on American Idol?”
It hadn’t occurred to me until tonight, that American Idol has become to Washed up Singing artists, what the “Elephant Graveyard” was to old or wounded elephants in the Old Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan movies.
The old or wounded elephants would limp whatever distance necessary to be able to lay down and die with their elephant ancestors.
Graveyard Night
So it was tonight, as the music crescendoes, spotlights are cued. Ross begins a full DIVA entrance through the sliding doors, with her arms outstretched, wearing a flaming red evening dress complete with feathery boa.
While making her entrance, Ross, the 83 year old octogenarian stumbled repeatedly from a combination of her gown being to long, her 8 inch platform shoes entangling themselves in the hem of her dress, and the fact that she’s old.
As she makes her way to center stage, she jettisons the boa, and proceeds to systematically perform off key, while shrilling and shrieking her way through her performance. It’s a sad day indeed when Diana puts on a performance that was easily inferior to at least five of the contestants from the previous night.
The only way that her performance could have possibly been made entertaining would have been if during one of her stumbles she would have fallen and broken a hip. Then she too, like the Elephants, could lay down…….The most complementary thing that I can mention about Ross’s appearance tonight is that she has one Hell of a Plastic Surgeon.
“I don’t want to go off on a rant here but”
The rest of the show was the usual tooth extraction without anesthetic. The customary Gang Bang Group sing, which tonight was an endless procession of Diana Ross Jingles strung together to memorialize an artist whose expiration date has passed.
Then there’s the ridiculous hippie vandalizing of a Modest Mouse tune in a Ford commercial.
And while I’m thinking about it, are this years men some of the crappiest dressers of all time?
I mean they look like indigent panhandlers for God’s sake.
You’re on TV in front of 30 million people. Dress like the Stars that you are pretending to be!
People, is this show entertaining to you? Do you care who wins this year? Hasn’t it become obvious that Fox, the producers, and the judges have already decided that the final is going to be Jones versus Doolittle? This means that for the next 3 months we have to pretend that this is actually a contest, by suspending our collective disbelief.
Suspension of disbelief
Suspension of disbelief refers primarily to the willingness of a reader or viewer to accept the premises of a work of fiction.
OBTW, Mr. Rogers left the neighborhood tonight, and nobody cared.
Especially the Fox producers, who “Vasectomized” Brandon’s farewell performance, Thank God something went right tonight.
Francis L.